What My First Year of Marriage Taught Me

Before I get started – can we all take a second to think about how quickly this year has gone by? I seriously can’t believe it’s been a year since we said “I do” at the most beautiful venue, surrounded by everyone we love.

Now, let’s talk about our first year of marriage.

There’s really no way to sugar-coat it – year one was rough for us. Life hit us really hard with the realities of job loss, death, sickness, surgery and just about everything in between.

Year one taught me so much. About myself, about my husband, about God’s plan for us – and about marriage.

1. “In good times and in bad” is a real thing. 
As I mentioned before, our year wasn’t exactly easy. Despite everything we went through, though, we remained a unit. A team. Husband and wife. And that’s what’s most important. No matter what life throws at you or your marriage, you have to stick together, see the good in it and trust that God has a plan. We may not always understand it – but to be honest, it’s not our job to.

2. Leave your selfishness at the altar. 
I’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to my relationship with Brandon, I’m typically the “selfish” one – to put it simply, I like to get my way. But in a marriage, selfishness doesn’t work. Marriage is a give and take. It’s about making compromises. It’s about going to see the ten thousandth Transformers movie (seriously, will those movies ever end?) because your husband went to see a chick flick with you the weekend before. I think as wives, sometimes we get caught up in always needing to feel cared for and “pampered”. It’s okay for your husband to spoil you and to do things for you, but don’t forget to give as much as you take. This is a lesson I’m still learning daily – hey, I’m a work in progress!

3. Marriage is the ultimate partnership. 
Brandon and I were together for about 6 years before we got married, so I didn’t think much would change about our relationship once we became husband and wife, besides living together. I was so wrong. Marriage is a bond that I’ve never felt before. It’s a true partnership. It’s no longer your life and your husband’s life. It’s your lives together. “What’s yours is mine” actually becomes a thing – your emotions, your struggles, your insecurities, your triumphs and everything in between become your husband’s, and it’s an incredible feeling.

4. Things won’t be perfect. And that’s okay. 

There will be arguing. There will be crying. The beard trimmings in the sink will make you want to scream, and the shower drain that’s constantly clogged with your unbelievably long hair will drive him crazy. But there will also be laughter. And so much love that you feel like you could explode. Things won’t be perfect, but if you’ve learned anything from reading my blog, I hope you’ve learned that nothing is. I promise you – it will all be worth it.

5. If you can survive sharing one bathroom in a tiny apartment, you can really survive anything. 
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

We still have a lot to learn, but for now we’re celebrating year one’s trials and triumphs, and basking in the glory of God’s amazing provision. Here’s to many more, babe!

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Until next time, friends.

Autumn

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